


Operation: R.E.D. (Really Excellent Drabble)

by InsaneVoice



Series: That Damn Thief [2]
Category: Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Genderswap, Humor, M/M, Stranded
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 23:07:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12898794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneVoice/pseuds/InsaneVoice
Summary: A collection of stories that may or may not be connected toPrice of Freedom. Can be read independently.--”...boredom can make you do some crazy shit...”





	1. Bored Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> **IMPORTANT** : None of these stories are complete at the moment and that is unlikely to change unless I get some motivation. They have been stuck like this for months now and I really want to complete them and I know from past experience that comments fuel my creativity better than coffee fuels paper pushers.  
> \--  
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Slade is surprisingly anal about his organization and Red X laughs hysterically (and silently) in a corner.  
> OR  
> Being a sneaky thief makes one _very_ good at pranks.

Operation: R.E.D. (Really Excellent Drabble)  
\--

No enterprise is more likely to succeed than one concealed from the enemy until it is ripe for execution. - Niccolo Machiavelli

\--  
Bored Shenanigans

Lately, things have been quiet in Jump City and while the quiet typically means a lull before the storm for the supers and therefore paranoid investigation time-

_I’m looking at you, Robin._

-for people who don’t plot big schemes for mass hysteria, things can get rather boring and as we all know--boredom can make you do some crazy shit, like for an example: breaking into Deathstroke’s hideout and _living there_ just to move little things around for the sole purpose of messing with the man.

The little abortive twitch the man always makes when entering a rearranged room is, in my humble opinion, totally worth the annoyance of having to deal with the increasingly higher security.

I had found the base almost completely by accident and while I did have suspicions that a hideout was in the area, I wasn’t entirely sure who called it their own or if it was even still active. Imagine my glee when I first broke in and found the recently resurrected obsession of my favorite teen hero, Deathstroke, or Slade as most people of Jump know him as.

For a good few minutes all I did was stare like a creep and internally freak out, like the fanboy I am, while Deathstroke worked on whatever he was fiddling with but then, just as I was about to cut my chances and get the hell out before I was noticed, he sets down his tools--scaring the crap out of me for a moment because I thought I was done for--and walks out of the room.

So good, you think, get out now while he is otherwise occupied in a different room and I did think about doing that.

For about a second before I scurried out of my hiding place and over to the thing he was fiddling with.

Said thing turns out to be a puzzle box, a _really advanced_ puzzle box made half out of electronic parts. It looks like Deathstroke has gotten through most of its levels but there is still... Oh, how interesting...

...just shift that a little...

...use that to...

...that part fits there...

 _Click_ , the last guard pops open revealing the hollow center holding what looks to be a computer chip.

I have about a second to feel warm and fuzzy with my victory before realization viciously douses it.

Well, again you think, just quickly reassemble the box to be how it once was before Deathstroke gets back, no big deal. And you would be right, if it weren't for the fact that I clearly have _no time for that_ considering I can sense the man coming back _right now_.

Quick as I can I set the completed box down and organize all the tools back into their rightful places before practically flinging myself back into the concealing embrace of the shadows.


	2. Queen of the Dirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You- Seriously- Do you not realize that that means you basically gave your consent to being a wireless marionette?!”

Operation: R.E.D. (Really Excellent Drabble)  
\--

“Can’t be too careful with your company. I can feel the devil walking next to me.” — Murray Head, _One Night in Bangkok_

\--  
Queen of the Dirt

 

I like to think that I’m a rather even-tempered person, of course just like everyone I have my triggers and this, this is apparently one of them.

Terra floating around like some kind of royalty surrounded by her metal guards.

Plans on harassing her constantly and possibly punching her in the face a time or two just to make a point that she relies too much on her powers and would be nothing without them, something about how even though she hates them they are apart of her and she wouldn't be the same without them or whatever.

Following Terra to base and telling Slade he downgraded and how Red thought he had better taste (I imagine that would be a fun encounter) Red might be somewhat reckless and semi-suicidal but not stupid so he stays in the rafters far out of Slade's reach and with a direct path to an exit.


	3. Still Don’t Have Boobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Basically all that has changed is that I’m slimmer and have a vagina.”

Operation: R.E.D. (Really Excellent Drabble)  
\--

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” - Robert Frost

\--  
Still Don’t Have Boobs

It takes something along the lines of two hours for Red X to find his mark--a pretty little gem set into a stone circle etched in some kind of ancient symbols--and most of that was spent crossing town to look for the damn building it was supposed to be in; apparently some mob boss has a hobby of collecting old and unique artifacts and this specific one was stolen from him by a competitor who has it locked in a ‘tan townhouse located on the west side of the central park’ which does him a whole lotta good considering there are a total of 14 townhouses that match the same damn description.

these type of jobs come his way on occasion--reclaiming property instead of stealing it

Red is--temporarily--turned into a female by the item he was paid to collect and comes across Robin, who is very bewildered by the encounter, and Red takes the opportunity to harass the kid by being very suggestive; Red makes a big deal about being disappointed he doesn't get to fondle his own breasts but at least he has something _else_ to play with. Robin about dies from all the blood rushing into his face.


	4. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red totally talks about Fight Club. He regrets it not even a minute later. (Includes popcorn used as projectile weapons.)

Operation: R.E.D. (Really Excellent Drabble)  
\--

“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! The third rule of Fight Club: someone yells "stop!", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.” - Tyler Durden, _Fight Club_

\--  
Movie Night

While on his way home from the Movie Theater, Red comes across Robin and Slade fighting, so he does what anyone would do.

He watches while he eats the rest of his popcorn.

Red X fight club quote reference to Robin “Dude you know the third rule of fight club says you can tap out!” Robin bites out between clenched teeth, “Yeah? What about the first and second that says you’re not supposed to talk about fight club.” or that part could be Slade and he’s all like I’m going to have to punish you now. Robin growls at Red for the quote reference and gets out from being head-locked then Slade says the not talking thing quote reference back at Red and the punish thing so Red does the sane thing and runs.

Popcorn used as projectile weapons.

Red in his civies.

“Thankfully I’m a paranoid bastard who always carries around a pair of sunglasses and a beanie.”


	5. Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red isn’t sure why Robin’s so mad at them considering he’s the one who blew up the aircraft carrier.

Operation: R.E.D. (Really Excellent Drabble)  
\--

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." ― Noël Coward

\--  
Paradise

“This is like the start of a really bad joke; A thief, an assassin, and a hero are stranded on an island…” 

Red X, Robin, and Slade are all forced to wait on an unnamed Island until someone *cough*Cyborg*cough* figures out where the fuck they are and rescues their asses.

Red frequently fucks off into the forest alone and is overall a creepy bastard who makes no sound when he walks, pops up when you least expect it, and likes to climb trees. (His favorite pastime may or may not be trying to give Robin a heart attack).

Robin mostly sits on the beach and stares out at the ocean sullenly.

Slade goes into teacher mode randomly.


End file.
